First, the house and moving. Jason and I went through a list of things that I could pack up in preparation for our big move. These would be objects that we don't use on a daily basis (books, extra plates/glasses, picture frames, etc). Now that Bree just finished her second feeding of the day, and now that I have finished my workout, I have a bit of time to start the first of many boxes in our packing. But as I think about starting to pack, I can't help but think, "is this really happening?", "do we really have a new home?", "are we really moving yet again?", and "is this really our last major move?" We've been talking about having a home for a long while, and the thought that it is finally happening is amazing and overwhelming at the same time. Having a home to ourselves always seemed a bit like a pipe dream - not that it wouldn't happen, but that the years continued to go by without it happening. So now, we're a month away. Closing date was set for December 19, 2011, which would also be Jason and my 12 year anniversary from the day we started dating - coincidence?? I'm so excited about this home and yet nervous that the "other shoe will drop," meaning that something bad will happen. Jason and I both said that the home-buying process would take forever, that we would look at 20+ homes, that we would pick two similar homes and be unable to decide between the two. But instead, we toured one home, fell in love with it, made an offer, made some negotiations, had an inspection, again made some negotiations, and bam...sold! Definitely different than I would have expected. So you can understand why I'm nervous that something bad would happen. Hopefully, fingers crossed our 145 days without power will be my "bad" thing, and we'll be able to move in smoothly and will continue to love our house. I'm looking so forward to raising Bree in that house. It's large enough for her to run around and play, she can have her own room and a play room, and she has a great backyard to play in. We can set up a swing set or a basketball hoop, or a play house for her. We have parks nearby, the beach is just a short drive away, and there are lakes around our area to take her to. I guess the more I think about packing, the more I realize this is really happening! Exciting!!
As I mentioned earlier, the next thing that is also happening is my return to work. Weirdly, this is coming with mixed emotions. I'm excited to go back to work and have really missed the camaraderie of my co-workers, and the positive influence that I can have with my teenagers. I miss being able to be sarcastic with them and having conversations regarding their music, love, and movie interests. I miss the work and the interactions I have with my clients. I don't miss the days where I want to pull out my hair, but who would?! I'm also starting to watch Bree develop into her own little person. She's just now starting to evolve as a little person. Smiling, (maybe) laughing, rolling, staring at objects, finding her little feet, and babbling. It seems unfair that maternity leave is for the first 16 weeks of our babies' lives. I understand why, of course, but I think I would prefer to have maternity leave for 16 weeks starting at month 3. My penpal from Australia informed me that Australia offers mothers paid maternity leave for 16 weeks and many employers allow mothers to take up to 12 months off work, unpaid. As blessed as I feel to have had the opportunity to take a full 16 weeks off with Bree, hearing that makes me a bit envious of other countries. I sometimes wonder why our country has decided to make our laws the way they have (not trying to get political here or anything). I guess I'm torn, I would love to have the time to spend with Bree and watch her grow and play, at the same time, I love my work and feel a huge sense of accomplishment in doing what I do as a clinician for teenagers. I'm nervous that I'll miss my Bree time in the evenings as my work schedule has alternate hours starting at 11am and closing at 7pm. There's really no way to leave my work early as our kids don't leave until 6:30pm and as clinicians we have to offer family therapy sessions from the 6-7pm time slot. Once we move, I'll be having a 50 minute commute looking at me. The commute isn't the problem for me as I am actually one of the few people who enjoy commuting, but the possibility that I may miss out on reading Bree a bedtime book or doing the last bedtime feeding is a bit anxiety provoking. I'll have to figure out some creative ways to make our time special. I know going back to work is the best thing for me. I'm definitely a better person when I'm working and absolutely am in love with the field of social work. I also know being a stay-at-home mom is not for me (I give every SAHM
For now, I have 15 full days to be with my wonderfully, adorable baby girl, who I love!!!
Celebrating mommy's belated birthday......we finally got power back!!
Bree helping us pack....she didn't want to be left behind!
Taking a walk...brrr it's chilly out here!
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